It was nighttime when I heard suspicious noises coming from outside. I rose from my chair to find out what was happening. As I approached the window, a person crept into view carrying a shotgun in the ready position. As she turned to look in the window, I could tell she had seen me. She instantly lifted the gun and took aim at me.

I recognized a girl-woman whom I had known years earlier in a youth club where she was a member and I was a leader. We had seldom seen one another since. We had no animosity between us that I knew of. I asked, “why are you doing this?”

“Because I can,” she said. Then: blam! The gun went off with a flash, and I sat up in bed, heart pounding from the nightmare.

Years later I can still see her face and the muzzle flash and hear those ominous words. Just because...she could? I have long pondered the wider questions the dream spawned. The phrase comes back to me every time I feel bulldozed by news of things which were once regarded as wrong, or bad, or unjustifiable. “Because I can” seems to be behind so much of what is happening these days, mean, spiteful, even lethal things–all at a faster pace and to a higher degree and extent than ever. Bullying in schools. Random mass shootings. Driving at high speed into crowds. Relationship trauma and domestic violence. Car jackings. Rape. Political craziness. Even bigger events: Russia in Ukraine. Israel in Gaza. What bubbles up as the overriding explanation? “Because I can.”

Negative power dynamics are running rampant and roughshod across our world. When someone holds another person down with force, it’s because they (think they) can get away with it. Because they are stronger, richer, entitled, oblivious, whatever. There’s a perception that they have a right to use power to overwhelm the abilities or rights or opportunities of others. The explanation? “Because I can.”

Consider the longer road of history, of events that have happened because those in power could just...do it. Slave-taking of whole societies in Africa. Extermination of indigenous peoples world-wide. Same for the vast herds of buffalo and communities of whales and even passenger pigeons, much of it just for fun. Super-fund poison seeping through poor neighborhoods, where residents typically have no real voice. Horrific acts in history are being rewritten and denied. Really? The Holocaust is a fiction, a lie?

I say this: just because someone can does not mean someone should. But knowing the difference between “can” and “should” implies respecting the concepts of morality and good judgment and integrity. People who value knowing wrong from right and who act to do right know this, of course. But in these times, are enough people taking up the difficult work of building a loving and decent society? Is the percentage of those who are willing and able to demonstrate behaviors of kindness, openness and tolerance dwindling? Can it ever be enough to counteract the onslaught of people who seem to be living the “because I can” mandate?

When I was about age 10, my mother caught me red-handed with a pack of gum I had lifted from the grocery store. “Where did you get this?” she demanded. We turned right around and drove all the way back to town, and I returned the gum and apologized in excruciating shame to the store manager. Thus: I cannot steal. She caught me another time being mean to our long-legged filly, throwing snowballs at her to make her run. I thought it was funny. I did not realize my mother was nearby. She stormed over and asked, “did you just throw a snowball to scare her?” I claimed innocence. But again, she had caught me. As a result of that well-remembered discussion, I try really hard not to lie. I do not steal or lie because my mother was a good guide at helping me learn right from wrong. She helped me form a moral compass of decency, of knowing how to recognize right from wrong, of doing the right thing or else knowing how to make amends when inevitable errors of judgment occurred. I may have resented her for it then, but now I send thanks to her memory. I wish everyone had a guide like my mom and the other good teachers who gave me their solid-citizen values.

Recently, my 22-month old grand-daughter sprinkled milk from her sippy cup across the floor. Oh, those innocent choices in life! When asked what she was doing, she lifted her arms in triumph and joyously announced, “ta-dah!” She did it because she could. After mostly-failed attempts not to laugh (and thus encourage her) came an age-appropriate correction. She is still too young to know right from wrong, but she will learn because she will be taught by her parents, and that is as it should be. She will also be taught by her teachers and her community as she grows up...right?

Obviously and thankfully, nothing is all-or-nothing. There are good people, yes, lots of them. People need people they can look up to, parents and teachers and leaders. They need examples of what it looks like to walk the talk of decency and integrity if there is any hope of shaping a better world. Thank you, good people. THANK you! The willingness to stand up to misbehavior and wrong-doing, and teach others ways to negotiate this increasingly-frightening world matters. But this is not what this is about.

Sadly, it seems as if my beloved American culture is generally in a downward moral spiral. It is heartbreaking to see the news filled every day with the actions and decisions of people at all levels, right to the very top, who lack the essential traits of good character. We regularly witness them acting on distorted worldviews for their own benefit, and lying with bold faces when it serves their purposes. In plain view, many people are getting away with so much. Because they can.

It is chilling to think back not that long ago and remember what happened when people looked away (think Germany in the 1930s, when decent people not sure what to do about the rising tides of wrongness did too little). Can a whisper of dissent rise into a voice of hope and become a shout of resistance? Would such acts ever be enough? How about trying this, at least: in daily matters, recognize right from wrong—and do right. When others tear down and destroy, lift up and support. Put your energy and skills toward building a better world. Think about it: next time there is a “because I can” moment in your life, what about making it into something beautiful?