From low in the eastern sky, the waning crescent moon shone into my window at 3:18 this morning. After an hour, I decided to get up and have a good long visit with this moon. It beckoned me, first through the eastern window from my bed, and, once I yielded, through the south-facing glass slider door by the fishpond.

The moon’s light was enough to easily make my way downstairs, fill the kettle, brew some tea, all without destroying my night vision with electric light. The sky was twinkling with the major stars, though moonshine made the dimmer ones invisible to me. The night was frigid –one degree F. I rudely shooed the deer away from eating my juniper and myrtle, but not without a twinge of compassion for how cold they must be!

We are five days away from the Lunar New Year. Yesterday I was invited by dear friends to a bonfire celebration of it on Tuesday. Honestly, I have never tuned in to the importance of the Lunar New Year, but research informs me of its ancient roots. It is the day (more accurately, night) when the Chinese calendar begins its new year, which is why it is also known to some as Chinese New Year. The specific date changes every year because it is tied to when the new moon occurs between January 21 and February 20. It is celebrated by something like 20 percent of the world’s population, and in some places the party continues for two weeks. Lunar New Year is a time for renewal, and to celebrate and remember family, including the ancestors.

My ponderings in the light of the moon took me to the longtime habit shared with my daughter, of looking up at the moon and, no matter where we are, knowing we are connected. This ritual began when she was a babe in arms. One time, I even woke her up, wrapped her in a blanket and took her outside to the middle of our street to witness the magic of a rising full moon.

But in a mere five more weeks, our relationship will evolve in a most lovely way as she says her wedding vows and takes his name. The era of Dernocoeur mother and Dernocoeur woman/child is about to change. The joy I feel for her and Matt’s happiness cannot possibly be eclipsed by the bittersweet emotions I have discovered rising selfishly in me. Lately, though, I have found myself wishing that somehow I could ask my mom: did you feel this way, too, when I got married? But no—she has been gone a long time. These unbidden sentiments have left me feeling a bit shaken, so sitting in the light of the moon today was, as it always seems to be, the balm I needed it to be.

Next week’s Lunar New Year marks the start of a Tiger year in the Chinese zodiac. Those born under the sign of the Tiger are known for their strength and courage, and according to one source, having a curious heart towards new things. Since the twelve signs of the zodiac rotate annually, they align with a person’s birth year only every 12 years. To me, it feels nicely auspicious that 2022 aligns with 1986—the year of my daughter’s birth.

Today, in my quiet time watching the moon, I pondered how the coming weeks represent transition (and leaving sorrows behind for palpable joy), change (and having courage to meet it with an open heart), and love (for everyone involved—including myself). Indeed. Happy New Year.